I'm 47 minutes into my 25th year. Don't get confused...I'm 24, but this is now my 25th year of living. Figure it out yourself, I don't want to explain it.
I wish I would have thought about it sooner, so I'll just wait till next year, but I don't want people posting "happy birthday" on my facebook. If you want to wish me a happy birthday, call me. If you don't have my number, I don't think you're someone who I really need a "happy birthday" from.
Best birthday present ever? My niece being in town. Oh yeah, my mom and sister too...but...my niece is amazing. If I'm not too lazy...expect videos to come soon.
It appears that I'm going to college...so long as my financial aid crap goes through. More on this some other day.
Today is my birthday, so wanna know what you can do to make it a great one? "Like" my book "ROCK BEATS PAPER" on facebook by clicking here and keep checking that page for updates throughout the day to learn when my book launches on the KINDLE and NOOK. The book is only $0.99 in digital format! WHICH IS AMAZING...so AMAZING that I have to limit the amount of time the price is that low. So on July 30th...the price is going up to $6.99. So by the book soon!
Alright...on to some fun...
The other day my dear and gorgeous friend Courtney and I were having a quite pleasant conversation...and it lead to us going back and forth about things we don't like in this world. I'm posting the contents of said conversation here, not because I think it was hilarious, but because I really want some people to read it...and stop doing what Courtney and I dislike...so on to the dislikable shenanigans...
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| Artsy shot of my friend Courtney. Courtesy of her facebook. |
COURTNEY:
I don't like poop on my foot...orrr droughts orrr warm milk...I don't like sunburn...or too many freckles...
MIKE:
I have TOO many freckles....which is why I'm single.
COURTNEY:
I don't like Poison Ivy...or long toe nails...or people who blame their problems on anything that has nothing to do with them.
MIKE:
I don't like people who get jealous of babies that get more attention than them.
COURTNEY:
I don't like having one ear clogged so my hearing is annoyingly off balance.
MIKE:
I don't like buffalo wings...they make me uncomfortable...and I feel dirty after eating them.
COURTNEY:
I don't like that all frosting has trans fat in it...I don't like cellulite especially on skinny people...it is upsetting
MIKE:
I don't like drinks that sound good, but taste horrible...I don't like when ugly girls trick you on facebook by having a hot friend in the picture and somehow manage to crop themselves out of the thumbnail so when they comment on stuff THEY look like the hot one! Especially with today's facebook...you really have to try to get yourself cropped out of the thumbnail.
COURTNEY:
I don't like when people ask questions throughout a TV show or movie...commercials are the perfect time to play catch up.
MIKE:
I don't like when you tell someone you haven't seen a movie or TV show...or heard a song...and they go nuts on you...Alternatively I love going nuts on people when they say they haven't seen or heard something.
COURTNEY:
I don't like comedians who swear a lot and talk about sex in graphic detail...I don't find it funny.
MIKE:
I don't like being at a four-way Stop Sign and the person who has the right of way refuses to go, then you finally say "fuck it" and hit the gas pedal, but then they start to go so you have to abruptly stop, then THEY stop and you're back to square one.
COURTNEY:
I don't like people who put their blinkers on too late.
MIKE:
I don't like people who put their blinkers on to change lanes then never turn it off.
COURTNEY:
I don't like people who pull out in front of you when there are no cars behind you. Why can't they just wait for you to drive by?
MIKE:
I don't like when you haven't been working out and someone asks if you have been working out...it makes me feel like they are making fun of me...like "HEY FATASS YOU BEEN WORKING OUT? DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT FROM HERE!"
COURTNEY:
I don't like when people say "You look skinny. Have you been eating?" SHIT! No I haven't....I knew I forgot something!
MIKE:
I don't like when people you barely know talk to you about stuff like politics or religion as if they think you automatically follow their beliefs...So to avoid any debates you just nod your head and say "yep...sure is a crazy world."
COURTNEY:
I don't like when professors are so upset about you not attending class when they are getting paid the same amount of money either way.
MIKE:
I don't like when your phone is dead and you don't respond to a text...and by the time you get your phone on you have 23 texts from one person gradually growing more and more upset with you for not responding to their text...and by the 23rd text you've lost your girlfriend and you're heartbroken and you're single for the next three years....
COURTNEY:
I hate when you always take pictures of people but no one ever has a camera around to take pictures of you, so you have to take your own pictures of yourself...and I hate when you break your phone and lose all your contacts and can't get in touch with people to hang out, but are okay with it because you think they'll eventually text you or call you to hang out or say "hi" but they never do.
MIKE:
I hate when you find out a girl has sent nudes to a bunch of guys...but she won't send any to you...so you have to pretend you're working on an art project and you need a nude model...then the cops show up at your house with a restraining order because you started setting up a photo shoot on her back porch.
COURTNEY:
Ummm...Mikey...is that something you thought about doing and then your imagination also imagined the reprocussions?
MIKE:
Yes?
COURTNEY:
Alrighty then. Tata.
So that ended a little awkwardly. My bad.
I should be posting more in a bit...Check back soon...this blogger is gonna start blogging more.
Follow me on twitter: @MMartinWrites Leave a comment below and share with your friends. And if you've liked what you've read so far on this site and look forward to reading more, you might also like my book Rock Beats Paper available on Amazon.
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