Well, it appears it is time for me to re-establish my internet presence. I mean sure I have 2 Facebook accounts, but that's boring. Here at my official Blog I plan on really kind of getting in touch with some thoughts, both personal and professional, and just letting some stuff flow from my heart, edited in my brain, and finally out of my fingertips onto this little keyboard.
I remember in High School having a LiveJournal account. Who remembers those things? It was cool. I used to go back to my livejournal account and read my writings as a young lad. They often made me laugh and were quite entertaining. But there was something else about them that was touching...I feel my inner voice that I let out back then was more profound, and honestly, more loveable than the man who is sitting in front of this screen today. I have been heartbroken to find that due to what I assume is inactivity, my LiveJournal page has been removed. All that teen angst and comedy is forever gone. I am honestly quite sad right now having just 'x'ed out the window. But that was the beginning of my online presence, then there was myspace. now Facebook. But I just haven't done much blogging. It's easier and quicker to just post a sentence on my status and just let people comment. Who wants to read multiple paragraphs of my feelings and such anymore? Well hopefully a few of you or this is just completely pointless.
I guess to say I am a struggling writer is kind of a narrow perspective on what I am. Technically I'm a struggling everything at this point in my life. I have drive but lack in the ambition part of it, I suppose. I can't place what it was in my life that caused me to be so wasteful of my varied talents. I never once had anyone tell me I would never amount to anything, maybe that's the problem. Most people you hear about that have succeeded were held down by naysayers to some extent. I've heard many times that there's always people who are dying to see you fail, and the people that love you most want you to fail the most. That is completely untrue in my life. I have the most supportive parents in the world. I am blessed to have them, and I am ashamed to say that I take them for granted more often than not. To be honest I am the only one that has ever felt that I am never going to make it in any of my desired fields. I have written short stories and novels and poems and screenplays. All of which were often liked, sometimes not, though criticized positively. I am a struggling wrestler. I have wrestled and I am not too self-defecating to say I haven't done well at it, but, I feel as though I've reached a plateau and will never progress further than what I've done. I'm a struggling son. I consistently feel that although my parents may be proud of who I am, I have failed them for the lack of what I am. I am a struggling brother. I never tell my siblings how much I love them or how much they mean to me, or how much I appreciate everything they do for me. I am a struggling friend. I just suck at it. I've left my friends and feel like I let them down regularly. The friends I have here in Illinois I feel I offer nothing to. I am a struggling lover. I suck at this too, I can't hold a steady relationship, and have serious trust issues. I am not, however, a struggling uncle. The only thing I can say I am proud of is my deep bond with my two year old niece, Alexis. Sure she's two, but the effect she has on me, and I on her is something that keeps me going.
Enough of this depressing reflection stuff, here's some stuff I have enjoyed writing-wise:
When I was eleven or twelve I wrote my first short story titled "Realm of Obstacles" The only one of two projects I've ever done handwritten. Everything since then has been typed on a computer. As a result of a lack of a spell checker I guess technically my first efforts in fiction was titled "Relm of Obsticles" It is still one of my favorite things I have ever produced and I recently found the only copy. It is missing it's final two pages. My intention is to rewrite it and publish it.
For a summer camp I once attended I wrote a story about how Trees came to be. This was the other thing I did handwritten. This was a cute little story that has since been lost, but is cute nevertheless.
When I was fifteen I wrote a novel titled "Shattered" It was 153 pages and at this point I consider it to be garbage. I had former WWE Superstar, Lance Storm, who is an avid book lover, read it. He couldn't get through the first few chapters and I decided it was trash. My family loved it, though...so...that's nice.
I wrote a few screenplays. Never made them, all of them are quite poor. I did make a short film for a Film Festival at my High School. It was rejected due to a heavy plot that involved a suicide. The people who were the judges missed the point of the movie and felt, had the movie been shown, there was a risk that someone in the audience would be compelled to carry out any thoughts of suicide they might have had. Upsetting to say the least.
I wrote a short story titled "Bubble Mailers" I will post it here within a few days. Maybe. I love this story. It is touching and filled with love.
I had a column that I did two editions of called "Ask Mikey Chase" it was a pretty funny little thing, though 100% Fictitious. I'll consider posting that as well. It's on facebook. Just search "Ask Mikey Chase"
Currently I am writing two novels. My hope is to tackle some self-publishing and get them on Amazon.com for sale in book form/kindle. So that's exciting for me.
I must go now, well it's not that I must...I just have other things to do, check back often for random thoughts and updates and the like.
-Mike
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